I went with my son Noah to Krispy Kreme donuts to grab some glazed donuts.

We got to the counter and he asked me if he could have a chocolate milk. 

I thought to myself “Buddy, you are going to have a sugar overload…but okay.”

I said “sure”.

Then he asked me if he could have two donuts.

My alarm went off “warning, warning…you are about to hit sugar coma…do not, I repeat, do not let him have another donut.”

I said “sure”.

The alarm came back on “hello?  Is there a responsible parent somewhere?  Can someone else please make an informed decision for this poor boy?”

“Really, Dad?” he said.

“Sure, you may not be able to finish it, but we can always take it home.”

Again with the alarm, “Okay, you passed this test, but be on the look-out if he actually tries to eat both donuts and drink the whole carton of chocolate milk.  You must stop him.”

We got his donuts and chocolate milk, sat down and he began to scarf.

Again the alarm “Please be forewarned.  Your son is eating at a high rate of speed.  At this rate, he will finish the first donut and move quickly to his second…do not let him start on the second…I repeat, do not allow two donuts to pass through his mouth…we could see violent shaking and vomiting if that should occur.  Please be a parent and stop him….someone stop him.”

I watched as he bit into the second one and I said “Buddy, you may want to wait on that one.”

“I’m okay, Dad.  I’m not full” he said.

“Not full is not a proper response…warning, warning…no one gets full from donuts.  They are made of air….oily, greasy god-forsaken air…you never get full.  You only get sick…stop him before we see projectile chocolate, donut vomit.”

“Okay, bud.  If that’s what you think.” I said.

“Time out on the field.  Could someone pull this parent out of the rotation and get someone with half a brain in here.  We can’t have sick children.   This is not acceptable.  Please step away from the child until a more mature and responsible parent can be found” went the alarm.

Halfway through the second donut and the milk, Noah said “Dad, I don’t feel good.”

“Hello, hello, McFly…I called this one.  Any comatose ape could have called this one…but no…you didn’t stop him did you…now he has a “tummy ache”…smooth move, Exlax” went the alarm again.

I said “Buddy, I thought you had too much, but you needed to figure that out.  Why don’t we wrap up what you have left and head to the truck.. You can lay down and maybe that will help a little.”

“Okay” he said in a nauseated voice.

The next day I told him that sometimes too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.  I think he got the point.

But the same goes for video games, tv, etc…we have to be careful that our kids don’t try to use things and people to get their fulfillment.

We, too, have to be careful.

Fun, yes.  Fulfillment, no.

  I’ve noticed single parents, both young and old, jumping from one relationship to another relationship in search of their “special someone”.

 Dating is like a donut.  Sometimes you can’t eat just one, but you better not eat two because it will make you sick.

 You have to put space between each donut and between each relationship.  You need to think and assess each new and old relationship and learn from it.

 If you eat too many donuts or have too many relationships one after another, you might find that other people get sick of you.

Right after Christmas, I went with Noah, my son, to Holiday in the Park at Six Flags. We had a great time, but we froze our “youknowwhats”.

Standing in lines is not my idea of fun and if you add cold, windy weather on top of that, I go negative on the “fun-o-meter”.

But its always fun to watch people and I noticed something odd when we were standing in line for the La Vibora ride.

The smiles get bigger the closer you are to the front of the line.

Duh.

I guess that’s to be expected, but if you think about it, that is the opposite of what should be happening.

If you think about it, the longer you’re in the line, the more unhappy you should be and those at the front of the lines at Six Flags have been in those lines longer than the folks that just walked up to the line.

Obviously there is something that has to be changing the scowls and frowns to smiles.

Well, we know what it is. We’ve all experienced it…its the fact that we don’t have to stand in the line any longer…

I don’t think so.

Its the “ride”.

The closer you get to the ride, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been standing in line, you are ready. You’re anxious about the ride and how much fun it will be. When they finally let your group through, you’re smiling even wider and can’t wait to get buckled in.

And just when you thought your smile couldn’t get any bigger…the ride is done. You’re back at the beginning of the ride and you’re smiling from ear to ear.

So what does this have to do with anything?

Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it is what it is.

(Did you think I would let this one go without a correlation?)

As people get older, I’ve noticed they frown more often. They look more worn out…they’ve been standing in the line for a long time.

There are very few people that I have seen or heard of that actually look forward with anticipation to their final “ride”.

I know I don’t.

I want to go to heaven, but not yet.

My grandmother told me one time, “Eric, sometimes you just get tired. That’s when you know you’re ready to go.”

(Crud, I’m in trouble. I feel tired all of the time.)

But there are few people that smile even wider as they get closer to the “ride”.

I know these are the same people that are going to enjoy the “ride” even more than the wait.

When I was 12, my parents bought me a cocker spaniel.  His name was Bucky.

I had begged for months to get a dog and finally they broke under the intense pressure of an unrelenting 12 year old boy. 

After the initial fun of the first few weeks of having a dog wore off, my mom and dad had to constantly remind me to feed Bucky, give him fresh water, give him baths and…pick up piles. 

Fun times.

My dad finally got tired of having to remind me so he sat me down.  He said “Eric, you’re the closest thing to God that Bucky will ever understand. 

You see, you can open doors.  He can’t.  You can open cans of food.  He can’t.  You can do so many things that he can’t and so he thinks of you somewhere in the God-level.

Are you anything like God?  Do you provide for him before he needs it?  No, you have to be reminded. 

Do you take care of him like God takes care of you?  No, you really don’t.

You need to step it up because you are failing.”

Talk about lighting a fire…

This is not to say that I didn’t have to be reminded to pick up piles or feed him, but my dad’s story got me to thinking every time I didn’t want to do something for Bucky.

God doesn’t neglect me and I shouldn’t neglect Bucky.  I decided I was better than that.

It was a great life lesson to learn early.

I’ve noticed that kids aren’t as patient as dogs. 

Kids let you know when they are hungry. 

Their dirty diapers stink…your nose requires that you do something about that.

But, just like the dog example above, kids see their Moms and Dads as the closest thing to God that they will likely see on Earth. 

We can drive, open up tight lids, braid hair (Elise, not me), spend money, etc…

Half the things we say they don’t understand. 

We are so complex and different from them.

We also have the capacity to love them like God loves them…or we can choose not to.

Looking at my track record, it’s a little embarrassing that I represent God in the way I do.

I remember one time when I was correcting Noah,  I was looking directly in Noah’s eyes and  I was telling him what he had done wrong and how I was deeply disappointed in what he had done.

As I was speaking, God hit me with a skillet.

I realized that I was speaking to Noah at that time and place, but that the words that I was speaking and the facial expressions I was making were going to be put in his archival memory and would be pulled out one day for him to speak to his kids. 

His kids would in turn do the same….and on and on…

It was at that point that I realized that I was speaking to future generations of little Bruntmyers yet to be born. 

I began to understand the duty that I had to Noah and all of my kids to speak to them and everyone that would come from them…to look in their eyes and see the generations that were to come…to understand that the behaviors and attitudes that I displayed on a daily basis in front of my kids would be replayed years and years later in their own lives with their own children.

Hopefully the children we have or will have and the generations to come from them will see God through the parenting that we do today.

About a year ago, I was driving in the truck with my kids and my daughter Avery said “Daddy, I want to sing you a song.”She started singing like only a 4 year old can and I listened to her serenade.

You should hear her sing.

About 30 seconds into the song, Kai, my oldest daughter, told her to stop because it didn’t sound good.

I told Avery to keep on singing that I was enjoying her songs.

Avery kept singing.

About six months after that, Kai, Avery, Noah and I went to visit one of our friend’s church. It was a little more charismatic then we were used to and I could tell the kids were filling uncomfortable.

How could I tell? In unison they all asked to go to the bathroom. I could tell where this was going, but decided to play along.

They all went to the bathroom and then when they came out Kai said “Dad, do we have to go back in? We don’t like it.”

I smiled and remembered Avery’s Song.

I said “Guys, do you remember several months ago when Avery sang me a song in the truck and Kai didn’t like the way it sounded?”

They all nodded.

“Do you remember that I told Avery to keep on singing?”

Again the nodding.

“Well, Avery was singing to me. She wasn’t singing for you. She wasn’t even singing for herself. She was singing for me. That’s why I told her to keep singing. It was a beautiful song because it was from Avery to me. It didn’t matter if you liked it or not. I liked it.”

Blank stares…I didn’t think I was going to be able to make the connection.

“Well guys, these folks are praising God. They are singing songs to Him. We may not be used to the songs or the way they worship, but they aren’t singing for us. They are singing for Him. If God doesn’t like it, He’ll let them know. Until then, we can sing along and appreciate their praise to our God.”

I could see the light go on in their heads.

Kai said “Okay, I guess we should go back in.”

Since that day, we have visited many different churches and experienced different worship styles.

We’ve been blessed to listen in as all of God’s children have sung Him their song.

And we’ve gotten to sing along.

       This weekend my son, Noah, was playing with some of his K'Nex (I think that is how you spell it.)

       After about 30 minutes he had to show me his contraption. He had made a spoke and wheel and then put it on an axle. He then began to spin its fast as he could.  (Here is an example of the K'Nex Coaster that may help you visualize what I am saying: http://www.knex.com/Shop/media_viewer_2.php?n=Ferris%20Coaster%20Help%  202&v=ferrisCoaster2final.wmv   )

       I suggested that he take one of the spokes off of the wheel to see how it would spin. It didn’t really spin, but instead it kind of wobbled. Not only that, it didn’t spin as long.

       Though he didn’t know it, he taught me a wonderful lesson. So many of us have been trained to be experts and we enjoy the fulfillment that it gives us. For many of us, work has become play. But sometimes work may become drudgery because it is the only spoke on the wheel. We’ve focused so much on it and have forgotten the other parts of life that God has given us.

       Whenever a wheel/axle is not in balance, it causes greater friction on the axle. With friction comes absorption of energy and a change of energy from the wheel to the axle. Too much heat and the axle fails. (Wow does this mean anything?)

       God wants us to have a balance in our work, family, church, etc... He wants the spokes He gave us to be in balance with Him as the axle. Take a spoke out and you get imbalance. Add too many spokes at unnecessary places and you get the same thing. Be careful because your relationships will be affected if you don't stay vigilant and correct the imbalance.

       After visiting Seoul, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Shanghai and Beijing, after reading The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman and after watching the video below titled “Shift Happens”, I was trying to digest a paradigm shift that was happening in me.

       One afternoon, I was driving down the road with my family in my Suburban and while stopped at a traffic light, I turned to my three oldest children (Kai, Avery and Noah) who were sitting behind me and I said:
       “Guys, school is important. There are kids in India and China right now that are studying their “tails off” trying to learn more than you. They don’t have much money and they don’t have video games, iPods, or Hannah Montana. Because they don’t have those distractions, they have a “ton” of time.  
       They work hard and long. They want the jobs that you are going to try to get when you graduate. If they are more prepared, they win.  
       If you don’t study hard, work hard and remain diligent, you will not have a job. You will be homeless and on the street without food, clothing or shelter.
       You cannot “goof off” at school. You must be serious about everything you learn as if you and your family’s lives depend on it.”
       The light turned green, so I started to drive and I could feel Elise’s eyes on me.  
       I asked what was wrong.
       She said “They’re just kids.  Do you have to be so serious?”
       I told her that their education is “that serious” and I don’t want them to fail for lack of effort.
       I looked in my rear view mirror to see the kids’ reactions.
       They were all staring straight ahead and with mouths open. I didn’t see a blink.
       I think the point was made. Maybe too well.
       By the way, I was preaching to myself, too.
       Just because I have a few degrees does not mean that I get the right to sit around and wait for “Shift” to happen.

      I can cause “shift” and I can direct “shift”. I may even be able to ride “shift”. But I can’t if I am not prepared.

       Jesus talked about the being stewards of the gift(s) He has given us.  Time is just one of those gifts. 

       We should not squander it, nor should we be unprepared.  Neither should we allow our children to be unprepared for His work.

       We should all be prepared for shift.  We should prepare our children for “shift”. 

       If not, “shift” will happen to them.

       When I was in my late twenties, I almost ruined my life.

       No, I wasn’t on drugs.  I didn’t have a drinking problem.  I wasn’t addicted to golf.

       I was trying to do too much.

       I had just gotten out of law school, was practicing law, was an adjunct professor at several colleges, making major improvements on my first house, celebrating the arrival our first child, teaching Sunday School, serving on several committees at church and running for School Board.

       I was trying to live my life…in one year.

       My wife finally pulled me aside and said “you are ruining us.  We need you.  You need to start dropping something.”

       Enough said.  I started cutting back on so many activities. 

       I finally decided that I was a monkey with a banana in each hand.  In one hand I held my family and the other my career.  If I wanted to pick up another activity, I would have to drop my family or drop my career.  I couldn’t afford to drop either.

       That’s when I started my Life Plan.

       I took a spreadsheet and put my life on it.  

       Literally.

       In one column, I put my age from 35-120 and then put the corresponding years. (Send me a request and I’ll send you my template.)

       There are columns for family, money, hobbies, career, education, etc… It isn’t too detailed, but it at least covers a wide range of your life.

       I did this because there was always something I wanted to try or a place I wanted to visit.  There was something that I wanted to learn or a job I wanted to do.  I needed a place to store my hopes and dreams so I didn’t feel the pressure to try to do everything today. 

       I also needed something that would help me count the cost of my dreams and desires.  (Luke 14:28-31)

      It helped me realize what I would have to give up.  

      I found that some dreams just weren’t worth it.

       By the way, it took me about 30 minutes to get everything set up and it takes about 5 minutes a month to keep it updated.

       I then take each year use it as a guideline on January 1.  I take each row in that year and begin to plan out the year.

       Have I been successful in doing everything I’ve written?  No, but that was not what I intended to do with the Life Plan. 

       The Life Plan was meant to confront my character flaw which is to try to do too much all at once.

       You know what I found?  I found that sometimes the desires that I had at one time really weren’t that interesting to me after a year or two. 

       Not only is the Life Plan a great reminder, but at the same time, it is a great filter.

       You may be asking why 120 years?  I did this out of necessity.  I simply had too much that I wanted to experience.  It also made me start thinking of how I was taking care of my body.  If I wanted/needed to live to be 120, what sort of decisions would I need to make now to make it?  As a result, I started to eat differently.

       I would encourage you to make a life plan.

       You may be surprised at how closely your life reflects your plans.

When I was a kid my parents always told me that I couldn’t play tackle football without pads. We always had to play two-hand touch.

I think it ruined my potential NFL career.

Not because I wasn’t used to getting hit. My older brother helped me with that.

I just couldn’t run fast.

Reason: Touch Football.

I know this may sound odd, but when you play touch football, you aren’t scared of getting creamed. If you are slow, there is no oversized 8th grader breathing down your neck to prove he can flatten a 6 year old.

Change that to tackle football and the 6 year old suddenly is running for his life.

Thus touch football ruined my NFL career.

On a similar note, I remember the days prior to having a wife and family. Life seemed to be hard, but little did I know the challenges that God would have for me.

Its not easy getting out of bed at 2 a.m. to clean-up a sick child who vomited in bed.

Its even harder to get back up at 3 a.m. when it happens again.

And even worse when you went to bed at 12 a.m. after finally getting everything done.

The great thing is that it is only for a season and more importantly, He thinks you can handle it. He wouldn’t give you any more than what you can handle.

He has confidence in you.

He is stretching us all as fathers to grow into a small reflection of who He is.

That’s why we have to run like the 6 year old getting chased by the 8th grader.

He is getting you ready for even greater things.

By the way, I’ve dedicated this one to Jason Whitten. See the video below for details:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBmfQvs3LO4

When I was in 7th grade, I was a bit overweight so when it came to playing football, they put me on the offensive line.  Actually, I was a left guard.

I really didn’t think I belonged there.  I hated blocking and playing “bit parts” in the success of the team.

I also hated the blocking sled.

Most people know what a blocking sled is, but if you don’t, its just a bunch of metal that is on a “skid” platform that lineman “hit” and push in order to practice their skill.  (See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YL0o-kjEGA)

Notice I said skill because that’s all I had.  Blocking.

The coach always tried to pair up two guys to push the sled and usually picked two that were of the same size.

Sometimes, you’d get a bigger kid on one side and smaller kid on the other. 

Disaster.

You see if the big kid pushes with all of his might and the little kid does the same, your sled goes round and round in circles and never moves across the field.  No progress is made and no ground is covered, just a funny little joke that the rest of the team gets to watch.

I was working out the other day and I noticed one of the guys that was maxing out on his bench press was always asking my partner for a “spot”.  (His max was about 375 pounds.)

I joked around a good bit with both of them and pretended to be offended.  Was I not strong enough to “spot” him?  Did he fear for his safety?

Thank goodness no one responded, but the answer to both of those questions was “yes”.  I simply was not a strong enough “spot” for him to really challenge himself physically and yet know that he wouldn’t be injured by “maxing out”.

The Bible says not to be unequally yoked.  Does that mean don’t marry someone of “like” faith/denomination/spiritual depth?

Yes and more.

I believe that we should all be linked to someone that will help us push through the daily struggles that are thrown at us.  When you have one spouse that is stronger, then you get the spinning effect and the relationship never advances in its depth with God.  Sometimes it even causes conflict amongst the spouses.

I, however, believe that we need to look even deeper.

I don’t think we should be unequally yoked in our friendships and in the career/business that we work in.

So many people will hang out with individuals that are not positively pushing the “sled” along.  They become a hindrance. 

But, I also believe there are those that work in industries, for companies or for managers that are not equally yoked either.  Some colleges kids are in the wrong major and/or university because they have not “yoked” themselves equally.

Beware of being yoked unequally. 

If not, you’ll get nothing but dizzy.