In 1994 my wife and I were living in a small house in the small town of Hudson, Iowa.
Next door was a small church with a small bell tower. If my memory serves me correctly. at noon and 6pm every day the church bells would play one or two old hymns. At first the noise was sort of annoying, but as the months went by I began to remember the lyrics of these hymns from my days as a child back in the 50′s and 60′s.

Words from old songs my mother used to sing before, during and after church came flooding back into my mind … and soon I began to secretly sing along, hoping no one was listening or watching.

One year later GOD used those annoying bells as a small piece of HIS design to draw me back to HIM.
In the spring of 1995 … after years of seeking my own path of disobedience and ignoring the LORD …
HE redeemed me and set me on a road to serve HIM.

Dads … I encourage you to continue to put spiritual routines in the life of your children … even if they seem somewhat annoying … like the bells in Hudson … because a day may come when they remember GOD and are drawn to HIM for all eternity.

“I remembered my songs in the night. My heart mused and my spirit inquired …”
Psalm 77:6

       After visiting Seoul, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Shanghai and Beijing, after reading The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman and after watching the video below titled “Shift Happens”, I was trying to digest a paradigm shift that was happening in me.

       One afternoon, I was driving down the road with my family in my Suburban and while stopped at a traffic light, I turned to my three oldest children (Kai, Avery and Noah) who were sitting behind me and I said:
       “Guys, school is important. There are kids in India and China right now that are studying their “tails off” trying to learn more than you. They don’t have much money and they don’t have video games, iPods, or Hannah Montana. Because they don’t have those distractions, they have a “ton” of time.  
       They work hard and long. They want the jobs that you are going to try to get when you graduate. If they are more prepared, they win.  
       If you don’t study hard, work hard and remain diligent, you will not have a job. You will be homeless and on the street without food, clothing or shelter.
       You cannot “goof off” at school. You must be serious about everything you learn as if you and your family’s lives depend on it.”
       The light turned green, so I started to drive and I could feel Elise’s eyes on me.  
       I asked what was wrong.
       She said “They’re just kids.  Do you have to be so serious?”
       I told her that their education is “that serious” and I don’t want them to fail for lack of effort.
       I looked in my rear view mirror to see the kids’ reactions.
       They were all staring straight ahead and with mouths open. I didn’t see a blink.
       I think the point was made. Maybe too well.
       By the way, I was preaching to myself, too.
       Just because I have a few degrees does not mean that I get the right to sit around and wait for “Shift” to happen.

      I can cause “shift” and I can direct “shift”. I may even be able to ride “shift”. But I can’t if I am not prepared.

       Jesus talked about the being stewards of the gift(s) He has given us.  Time is just one of those gifts. 

       We should not squander it, nor should we be unprepared.  Neither should we allow our children to be unprepared for His work.

       We should all be prepared for shift.  We should prepare our children for “shift”. 

       If not, “shift” will happen to them.

       When I was in my late twenties, I almost ruined my life.

       No, I wasn’t on drugs.  I didn’t have a drinking problem.  I wasn’t addicted to golf.

       I was trying to do too much.

       I had just gotten out of law school, was practicing law, was an adjunct professor at several colleges, making major improvements on my first house, celebrating the arrival our first child, teaching Sunday School, serving on several committees at church and running for School Board.

       I was trying to live my life…in one year.

       My wife finally pulled me aside and said “you are ruining us.  We need you.  You need to start dropping something.”

       Enough said.  I started cutting back on so many activities. 

       I finally decided that I was a monkey with a banana in each hand.  In one hand I held my family and the other my career.  If I wanted to pick up another activity, I would have to drop my family or drop my career.  I couldn’t afford to drop either.

       That’s when I started my Life Plan.

       I took a spreadsheet and put my life on it.  

       Literally.

       In one column, I put my age from 35-120 and then put the corresponding years. (Send me a request and I’ll send you my template.)

       There are columns for family, money, hobbies, career, education, etc… It isn’t too detailed, but it at least covers a wide range of your life.

       I did this because there was always something I wanted to try or a place I wanted to visit.  There was something that I wanted to learn or a job I wanted to do.  I needed a place to store my hopes and dreams so I didn’t feel the pressure to try to do everything today. 

       I also needed something that would help me count the cost of my dreams and desires.  (Luke 14:28-31)

      It helped me realize what I would have to give up.  

      I found that some dreams just weren’t worth it.

       By the way, it took me about 30 minutes to get everything set up and it takes about 5 minutes a month to keep it updated.

       I then take each year use it as a guideline on January 1.  I take each row in that year and begin to plan out the year.

       Have I been successful in doing everything I’ve written?  No, but that was not what I intended to do with the Life Plan. 

       The Life Plan was meant to confront my character flaw which is to try to do too much all at once.

       You know what I found?  I found that sometimes the desires that I had at one time really weren’t that interesting to me after a year or two. 

       Not only is the Life Plan a great reminder, but at the same time, it is a great filter.

       You may be asking why 120 years?  I did this out of necessity.  I simply had too much that I wanted to experience.  It also made me start thinking of how I was taking care of my body.  If I wanted/needed to live to be 120, what sort of decisions would I need to make now to make it?  As a result, I started to eat differently.

       I would encourage you to make a life plan.

       You may be surprised at how closely your life reflects your plans.

When I was a kid my parents always told me that I couldn’t play tackle football without pads. We always had to play two-hand touch.

I think it ruined my potential NFL career.

Not because I wasn’t used to getting hit. My older brother helped me with that.

I just couldn’t run fast.

Reason: Touch Football.

I know this may sound odd, but when you play touch football, you aren’t scared of getting creamed. If you are slow, there is no oversized 8th grader breathing down your neck to prove he can flatten a 6 year old.

Change that to tackle football and the 6 year old suddenly is running for his life.

Thus touch football ruined my NFL career.

On a similar note, I remember the days prior to having a wife and family. Life seemed to be hard, but little did I know the challenges that God would have for me.

Its not easy getting out of bed at 2 a.m. to clean-up a sick child who vomited in bed.

Its even harder to get back up at 3 a.m. when it happens again.

And even worse when you went to bed at 12 a.m. after finally getting everything done.

The great thing is that it is only for a season and more importantly, He thinks you can handle it. He wouldn’t give you any more than what you can handle.

He has confidence in you.

He is stretching us all as fathers to grow into a small reflection of who He is.

That’s why we have to run like the 6 year old getting chased by the 8th grader.

He is getting you ready for even greater things.

By the way, I’ve dedicated this one to Jason Whitten. See the video below for details:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBmfQvs3LO4

When I was in 7th grade, I was a bit overweight so when it came to playing football, they put me on the offensive line.  Actually, I was a left guard.

I really didn’t think I belonged there.  I hated blocking and playing “bit parts” in the success of the team.

I also hated the blocking sled.

Most people know what a blocking sled is, but if you don’t, its just a bunch of metal that is on a “skid” platform that lineman “hit” and push in order to practice their skill.  (See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YL0o-kjEGA)

Notice I said skill because that’s all I had.  Blocking.

The coach always tried to pair up two guys to push the sled and usually picked two that were of the same size.

Sometimes, you’d get a bigger kid on one side and smaller kid on the other. 

Disaster.

You see if the big kid pushes with all of his might and the little kid does the same, your sled goes round and round in circles and never moves across the field.  No progress is made and no ground is covered, just a funny little joke that the rest of the team gets to watch.

I was working out the other day and I noticed one of the guys that was maxing out on his bench press was always asking my partner for a “spot”.  (His max was about 375 pounds.)

I joked around a good bit with both of them and pretended to be offended.  Was I not strong enough to “spot” him?  Did he fear for his safety?

Thank goodness no one responded, but the answer to both of those questions was “yes”.  I simply was not a strong enough “spot” for him to really challenge himself physically and yet know that he wouldn’t be injured by “maxing out”.

The Bible says not to be unequally yoked.  Does that mean don’t marry someone of “like” faith/denomination/spiritual depth?

Yes and more.

I believe that we should all be linked to someone that will help us push through the daily struggles that are thrown at us.  When you have one spouse that is stronger, then you get the spinning effect and the relationship never advances in its depth with God.  Sometimes it even causes conflict amongst the spouses.

I, however, believe that we need to look even deeper.

I don’t think we should be unequally yoked in our friendships and in the career/business that we work in.

So many people will hang out with individuals that are not positively pushing the “sled” along.  They become a hindrance. 

But, I also believe there are those that work in industries, for companies or for managers that are not equally yoked either.  Some colleges kids are in the wrong major and/or university because they have not “yoked” themselves equally.

Beware of being yoked unequally. 

If not, you’ll get nothing but dizzy.

You may not know this, but my worst fear is a movie.   

I get to heaven and God sits me on a couch. He gives me a Coke and some popcorn and says “Watch this”.

The movie I watch lasts for four hours, but it seems like it only lasts 15 minutes.

There’s action and adventure, romance and comedy, and ethical dilemmas all wrapped up into the best movie I’ve ever seen. The leading man is making all the right decisions and all the right choices.

Its the best of every movie I’ve ever seen in my life all wrapped up in one film.

When the movie is over, I ask God “What was that all about? Who was that actor? Who’s story was that?”

He turns to me and says “That was your life. The life that I wanted you to lead. I wanted you to be all of that and do all of that…but you chose something else. Where you didn’t recognize your life in this movie is where you chose your own way. I wanted the best for you, but you chose otherwise.”

My fear is that I won’t recognize any of that movie. I fear that I will have chosen all along the way and never realized the plan that God had for me.

Its not only my fear for me, but its my fear for my family and friends. I don’t want them to miss out on God’s plan for their life. I want them to be able to lead the life that God has for them with reckless abandon. 

Be thankful that your “movie” is not done. Pray every day that God will open your eyes so that you’ll know where His Will is for you and that you’ll humbly obey. 

When he calls to you move, then move.   And when he says “stay”, don’t move an inch.

Each night when I put my kids to bed, we read a book, talk about their day and pray for their sleep and their futures.

Sometimes after the prayer, they want me to scratch their back. 

On special occasions, they ask for “Sleep Tonight”. 

“Sleep Tonight” is really the song MLK by U2 sung in my best Bono voice.

I know.  My wife has already said you can’t use a U2 song as a lullaby.

By the way, you can see/hear it here:

Sleep Tonight-MLK by U2 on YouTube 

While I am singing the song to them, they want me to lightly touch their face with my index finger and draw circles around their eyes, cheeks, nose and chin. 

We’re weird.

Tonight I was tucking Shea, my two year old daughter, into bed and she asked for “Sleep Tonight”.

I gave her a couple verses in hopes that she would fall asleep, but it didn’t work.

I then told her to sing “Sleep Tonight” to me.

She started singing the words she knew and drawing the circles on my face.

I had a terrible premonition of my deathbed.

I could just see her seeing me for the last time and singing this song over me.

How morbid…

But then I started thinking of the words.

Thanks to U2.com here they are:

Sleep, sleep tonight

And may your dreams be realised.

If the thunder cloud passes rain

So let it rain, rain down on he.

So let it be.

So let it be.

Sleep, sleep tonight

And may your dreams be realised.

If the thunder cloud passes rain

So let it rain, let it rain

Rain down on he.

When I die, I will sleep, but I will awaken.

If only my dreams could be realized, I will have been blessed.

My dreams include a long, productive, fruitful life with Christ.  It includes the assurance of salvation for my children and their close walk with God, their meeting and overcoming of life’s challenges and their outliving me to hand me off into the arms of Jesus.

Was Shea being unknowingly morbid?  Of course not.

Was she singing a blessing over me for tonight and for the future?  Emphatically, yes.

May we and our children see all of our “dreams be realized”.

Have you ever done something that you were sure would break your neck?

Today, I took my son, Noah, to the Grand Prairie Skatepark to practice what he had learned this week in skate camp.

I had taken him earlier in the week to show me what he could do, but this time was different.

Last time I was telling him how to do things and encouraging him to try new “stunts”. 

He didn’t seem to like my “words of encouragement” when it came to doing a “drop-in” on the 3 ft. quarter pipe.

If you don’t know what a “drop-in” is, take a look at this video and you’ll see:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyNO0h4WNAo&NR=1

Today, though, I had to “put up or shut up”.

Today, I paid for my own admission, rented a helmet and skated out to the practice area with him. 

Don’t you wish you could’ve been there to videotape it!!

Any way after about 15 minutes, I told him to try some “drop-ins”.

He said he was too scared.

I then asked him if he would try one if I did.

His eyes got big.  “Sure” he said.

I think he knew that I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  I think he also knew he was about to have some interesting entertainment.

I asked a kid on the platform how to do it and he slowly explained each step.

I did just what he said.  I put the board on the rail, put my foot on the tail of the board and then froze. 

It sure looked higher up on the platform.  (It was only 3 feet high.)

I picked up the board, I looked at Noah, he smiled back at me and I put the board back down on the rail.

I started talking to myself.

“Okay, you can do it.  This is not going to kill you.  You could get hurt.  No, you will get hurt.  Maybe not this try, if you’re lucky, but sometime you are going to get hurt.”

“Okay, pick your foot up.  Pick it up.  Pick…it…up.  Its not moving.  Get up foot!  You aren’t in control!”

I then turned and smiled at Noah.  He smiled again.

“Come on Dad.  You can do it.”

I thought I heard a little sarcasm in his voice.

Well, I won’t bore you with anymore excruciating details, but needless to say after about 10 tries, I was able to “drop-in”.

I then moved to the 4 ft. quarter pipe and landed on my back. 

I think every kid in the park went “ooohhh”. 

I don’t think they thought I was going to get up.

I did.  Slowly.

After my “adventure”, Noah and I kept skating and he even tried several more “drop-ins”.  It seemed like he listened to me more closely and was willing to try more “tricks” once I had “skated” in his shoes.

Why am I writing this to you?

I realized several things:

1.      Kids are actually great teachers.  Since most of what they have learned has been learned recently, they know they know how hard it is to learn and they don’t want you to make the same mistakes they did.

2.      If you fall and stay down, they will either call the ambulance if it is serious or run over you with their skateboards. They don’t respect anyone who won’t at least try. If you fall and get up, they respect the fact that you tried. 

3.      Never rent a helmet.  You never know which of the previous wearers had head lice…

4.      And finally, words of encouragement mean nothing unless you’ve actually been in the same predicament.  Then the words are golden.

Christ did the same when He came and lived through what we live through. 

He came and “dropped-in” from heaven. 

He knew what it was like to lose someone He cared about, what it was like to be hungry, what it was like to lack sleep and how it felt to laugh.

He was one of us so He could be one with us.

Well, Noah and I had a ton to talk about on the way back home from the skatepark.

Somehow I think he knew we shared the same fears of our first “drop-in”.

I have a horrible story to tell you.

Its about me and I am ashamed.

It was the first semester of my first year of law school at Baylor University.  I was 21 years old and one of the youngest students in my class.  Law schools are known for being rough on you mentally and emotionally.

One day I was “chewed out” in class for not knowing the answer to a legal issue and I was feeling especially low.  My self-esteem had taken a beating and I needed some time away.

So I went shopping.  Grocery shopping, that is.

I remember walking to the local H.E.B. Grocery Store and as I walked through the store, I began to talk to myself.

I remember seeing an older man in one of the aisles.  Maybe he was 55 years old.  He had dirty clothes and was walking slowly kind of dragging his feet. 

I said to myself to him “You aren’t going anywhere.  You at the end of your life and you’ve done nothing.  At least I’m in law school.  I’m going to be somebody someday.

(Wow, it hurts just to read what I just wrote.)

I remember doing this several more times with other people and then its as if someone thumped me on the head.

I heard this voice say “What are you doing?”

I knew who it was.  We had talked before.

I answered “What do you mean?”

He said “What are you doing walking around the store, running these people down?  You have to go to a grocery store to find people to look down on in order to make yourself feel better?  You are sad." 

"These are the people that I love, the people that I made, the very people that I died for and you can’t do anything for them, but silently run them down.  You don’t love them.  If you don’t love them, you can’t love me.”

Wow, when God nails you, he really nails you.

I then said, “I know I don’t love them.  In fact I hate most people.”

I then finished with “If you’ll let me see them how You see them, I know I can love them.  Just let me see them how You see them.  Let me see their potential.”

That was the thump on the head that changed my view about people. 

It didn’t happen overnight.  It has been gradual, but He has opened my eyes.

I think He was getting me ready for my kids. 

I know we all see the potential in our own kids, but I always have to be careful to ask myself, “Am I Iooking at their potential through my eyes…or His eyes?”