Self-control and self-discipline are also key factors in any success you hope to have in this life. Without self-discipline, you are unlikely to achieve anything of lasting value.

The apostle Paul realized this when he wrote, “Every athlete in training submits to strict discipline, in order to be crowned with a wreath that will not last; but we do it for one that will last forever” (1 Corinthians 9:25 GNT).

Olympic athletes train for years in order to have a chance to win a brief moment of glory. But the race we are running is far more important than any earthly athletic event. So self-control is not optional for Christians.

How do we gain true self-control?

Admit your problem. The starting point for developing self-control is to face what God has already said about me: I am responsible for my behavior.

James 1:14 (PH) says, “A man’s temptation is due to the pull of his own inward desires, which can be enormously attractive.”

Do you realize what that says? It says you do things because you like to do them! When I do something I know is bad for me, I still do it because I like to do it. I want to do it; it’s an inner desire.

Do you want more self-control? Admit you have a problem and be specific about it. Begin praying specifically about your problem areas.

Put your past behind you. Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV) says, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal…”

This verse exposes a misconception that will keep you from gaining self-control: Once a failure, always a failure.

Failure in the past does not mean you’ll never be able to change. Focusing on past failures, however, does guarantee their repetition. It’s like driving a car and looking in the rearview mirror the whole time. You’re going to collide with what’s ahead of you.

Ask God to help you put your past behind you.

You don’t build that kind of relationship with God—one that will help you love others when you want to give up—by accident. You do it through habits. Here are three habits that will help you grow in your relationship with God.

1. A daily quiet time. Let God talk to you through the Bible and through prayer. Nothing will help your life more. The Bible says in 2 Corinthians 4:16, “This is the reason we never lose heart. Our body does suffer wear and tear, but every day the inward man receives fresh strength” (PH). Outwardly our body suffers wear and tear, but spiritually we can be renewed every day by spending time alone with God. It’s not hard. Read through a chapter of the Bible, meditate on it, and talk with God about what’s going on in your life.

2. Small group. The Bible says in Hebrews 10:25, “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another…” (NIV). You need to spend time with other believers. I hope you have a church family. Be a part of whatever mechanism they have to connect you with a small group, whether that’s a Sunday School or off-campus small group. You need the prayer support and encouragement of other believers. A Christian without a small group is an orphan.

3. Worship through song. Psalm 59:16 says, “I will sing about your strength, my God, and I will celebrate because of your love” (CEV). Singing builds you up. The singing time at your church isn’t just the warm-up act; it’s just as important as the message. Don’t miss it this weekend. Also, put some worship music on your iPod or MP3 player this week and don’t be afraid to sing along. It will recharge your soul and give you the God-given strength to love others.

God’s Word gives us three habits that can help us recharge emotionally when we have nothing left to give.

1. Solitude. Mark 6:31 says, “So many people were coming and going…[Jesus] said to them [the disciples], ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest’” (NIV). Jesus understood that your emotions are like a battery. If you plug one lightbulb into a battery, it will last for a fairly long time. If you plug in 100 lights, the battery will drain very quickly. Many of you have so many lights plugged in, your battery is shot. You can’t recharge anybody else—you can’t give love—if your own battery is drained. You recharge when you get away by yourself.

2. Play. The Bible says, “Jesus came enjoying life” (Matthew 11:19 PH). He was the most people-focused, ministry-intensive person who ever lived, yet he took the time to have fun. Certain activities recharge you emotionally; they literally re-create your energy and enthusiasm for life. We all have different activities that recharge us because we’re all made differently. Find out what recharges you emotionally and make time for it.

3. Laughter. Proverbs 17:22 says, “Being cheerful keeps you healthy” (GNT). Studies prove that when you laugh, it increases your number of T-cells, which raises your immunity level. Laughter is good for your health. Humor is God’s gift to us. Remember, God has a sense of humor—he made you!

To be emotionally balanced, take God very seriously but don’t take yourself seriously. Learn to laugh at your limitations. There is plenty of material. If you only laugh and enjoy life when your problems are all solved, you’ll never enjoy life.

Noah’s life brought pleasure to God because he lived with a heart of praise and thanksgiving. Noah’s first act after surviving the flood was to express his thanks to God by offering a sacrifice (Genesis 8:20).

We praise God for who he is and we thank God for what he has done (Hebrews 13:15; Psalm 116:17). David said, “I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving. This will please the LORD” (Psalm 69:30-31 NIV).

An amazing thing happens when we offer praise and thanksgiving to God. When we give God enjoyment, our own hearts are filled with joy!

My mother loved to cook for me. Even after I married Kay, when we would visit my parents, Mom prepared incredible home-cooked feasts. One of her great pleasures in life was watching us kids eat and enjoy what she prepared. The more we enjoyed eating it, the more enjoyment it gave her.

But we also enjoyed pleasing Mom by expressing our enjoyment of her meal. It worked both ways. As I would eat the great meal, I would rave about it and praise my mother. I intended not only to enjoy the food but to please her. Everyone was happy.

Worship works both ways too. We enjoy what God has done for us, and when we express that enjoyment to God, it brings him joy—but it also increases our joy. The book of Psalms says, “The righteous are glad and rejoice in his presence; they are happy and shout for joy” (Psalm 68:3 TEV).

If God asked you to build a giant boat, don’t you think you might have a few questions, objections, and reservations? Noah didn’t. He obeyed God wholeheartedly. That means doing whatever God asks without reservation or hesitation. You don’t procrastinate and say, “I’ll pray about it.” You do it without delay. Every parent knows that delayed obedience is really disobedience.

God doesn’t owe you an explanation or reason for everything he asks you to do. Understanding can wait, but obedience can’t. Instant obedience will teach you more about God than a lifetime of Bible discussions. In fact, you will never understand some commands until you obey them first. Obedience unlocks understanding.

Often we try to offer God partial obedience. We want to pick and choose the commands we obey. We make a list of the commands we like and obey those while ignoring the ones we think are unreasonable, difficult, expensive, or unpopular. I’ll attend church but I won’t tithe. I’ll read my Bible but I won’t forgive the person who hurt me. Yet partial obedience is disobedience.

Wholehearted obedience is done joyfully with enthusiasm. The Bible says, “Obey him gladly” (Psalm 100:2 LB). This is the attitude of David: “Just tell me what to do and I will do it, Lord. As long as I live I’ll wholeheartedly obey” (Psalm 119:33 LB).

James, speaking to Christians, said, “We please God by what we do and not only by what we believe” (James 2:24 CEV). God’s Word is clear that you can’t earn your salvation. It comes only by grace, not your effort. But as a child of God you can bring pleasure to your heavenly Father through obedience.

Any act of obedience is also an act of worship. Why is obedience so pleasing to God? Because it proves you really love him. Jesus said, “If you love me, you will obey my commandments” (John 14:15 TEV).

There were three problems that could have caused Noah to doubt:

- First, Noah had never seen rain because prior to the flood God irrigated the earth from the ground up (Genesis 2:5-6).

- Second, Noah lived hundreds of miles from the nearest ocean. Even if he could learn to build a ship, how would he get it to water?

- Third, there was the problem of rounding up all the animals and then caring for them.

But Noah didn’t complain or make excuses. He trusted God completely, and that made God smile.

Trusting God completely means having faith that God knows what is best for your life. You expect him to keep his promises, help you with problems, and do the impossible when necessary.

The Bible says, “He takes pleasure in those who honor him, in those who trust in his constant love” (Psalm 147:11 TEV).

It took Noah 120 years to build the ark. I imagine he faced many discouraging days. With no sign of rain year after year, he was probably criticized as a “crazy man who thinks God speaks to him.” I imagine Noah’s children were often embarrassed by the giant ship being built in their front yard.

Yet Noah kept on trusting God.

In what areas of your life do you need to trust God completely?

Trusting is an act of worship. Just as parents are pleased when children trust them, your faith makes God happy. The Bible says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God” (Hebrews 11:6 NIV).

Since pleasing God is the first purpose of your life, your most important task is to discover how to do that. The Bible says, “Figure out what will please Christ, and then do it” (Ephesians 5:10 MSG).

Fortunately, the Bible gives us a clear example of a life that gives pleasure to God in the story of Noah.

In Noah’s day, the entire world had become morally bankrupt. Everyone lived for their own pleasure, not God’s. God couldn’t find anyone on earth interested in pleasing him, so he was grieved and regretted making man. God became so disgusted with the human race that he considered wiping it out.

But there was one man who made God smile. The Bible says, “Noah was a pleasure to the Lord” (Genesis 6:8 LB).

God said, “This guy brings me pleasure. He makes me smile. I’ll start over with his family.” Because Noah brought pleasure to God, you and I are alive today.

Over the next few days, we will learn from Noah’s life the five acts of worship that make God smile. Here is the first one:

God smiles when we love him supremely. Noah loved God more than anything else in the world, even when no one else did! The Bible tells us Noah “consistently followed God’s will and enjoyed a close relationship with him” (Genesis 6:9 NLT).

This is what God wants most from you: a relationship! It’s the most astounding truth in the universe: our Creator wants to fellowship with us. God made you to love you, and he longs for you to love him back. He says, “I don’t want your sacrifices—I want your love; I don’t want your offerings—I want you to know me” (Hosea 6:6 LB).

Can you sense God’s passion for you in this verse? God deeply loves you and desires your love in return. He longs for you to know him and spend time with him. This is why learning to love God and to be loved by him should be the greatest objective of your life.

Nothing else comes close in importance. Jesus called it the greatest commandment. He said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment” (Matthew 22:37-38 NIV).

I’ve found that correcting another is powerful—and it can be dangerous. Done the right way, it builds people up, but done the wrong way, it can scar a person for life.

The difference between the right and the wrong way to correct is your attitude. If all you’re doing is pointing out faults, then stop. The purpose has to be to correct, not to condemn.

You need to ask, “What’s my motive in this? Am I correcting him for my benefit or for his benefit?”

A lot of times we want to correct people just because they’re being jerks and they’re hassling us. We think, “If they would stop being such a jerk, my life would be easier.”

That’s the wrong motive.

Instead, follow Ephesians 4:15, which says, “Speak the truth in love.” Love means giving people what they need rather than what they deserve.

So this is the key to proper correction: Affirm the person; then correct the behavior.

We all need confidence. When you know that someone believes in you, it brings out your best. Jesus did this with the Apostle Peter. “Petros,” Peter’s name, meant pebble. But Jesus said, “Pebble, you’re going to be a rock. I’m giving you a new name.”

When Jesus said that to Peter, the apostle was anything but a rock. He was Mr. Impulsive, Mr. Foot-in-Mouth. But Jesus didn’t tell him what he was—he told him what he could be. He gave Peter confidence to live up to his potential.

We all need encouragement. Over the years, I’ve kept an Encouragement File. Every time anybody writes me a note, a card, or a letter, I file it. Even if it’s mildly encouraging, like “Better luck next time,” or “You tried on that sermon—good try,” it still gets filed.

Then on days when I’m discouraged, down, and tired, I get out the Encouragement File and read through all the letters and cards that I’ve collected.

When you give encouragement, it needs to be genuine. So, give from the heart and with sincerity. Encouragement also needs to be regular—don’t be stingy with your encouragement.

And encouragement needs to be specific. Instead of saying, “I enjoyed the meal,” say, “I can tell you put a lot of effort into this meal and the seasoning you chose was perfect.”

Instead of saying, “You did a good job,” say, “I noticed you handled that angry member with tact and you maintained your cool under pressure.”

The Bible encourages us to do just that in Romans 15:2, where it says, “We should consider the good of our neighbor and build up his character.”

How do you build your people? The key is kindness—giving people what they need, not what they deserve. When you consider the way Jesus built people up, he did three things—challenged, encouraged, and spoke honestly.

Today, we’ll look at how Jesus challenged people to be all God made them to be. The Apostle Paul echoes this teaching, in Ephesians 4:1, when he says, “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.”

His point is, “Don’t waste your life!”

Challenge your family and friends to live beyond themselves and to discover their strengths and abilities. God has given each of us some special abilities, and he wants us to use them to help each other. We’re to pass on to others God’s many kinds of blessings.

We all need somebody who will help us discover our gifts and who will challenge us to develop, strengthen, and use them. You can play a critical role in this way by helping the ones you love to discover their strengths and abilities, and then challenging them to use them.

And, help them understand how special their gifts are—that we will all miss out on a blessing if they don’t use the gifts God has given them. It’s like a singer who never sings; we miss out on the blessing that would come from hearing the voice. We are meant to be a blessing to others.