H.E.B.

I have a horrible story to tell you.

Its about me and I am ashamed.

It was the first semester of my first year of law school at Baylor University.  I was 21 years old and one of the youngest students in my class.  Law schools are known for being rough on you mentally and emotionally.

One day I was “chewed out” in class for not knowing the answer to a legal issue and I was feeling especially low.  My self-esteem had taken a beating and I needed some time away.

So I went shopping.  Grocery shopping, that is.

I remember walking to the local H.E.B. Grocery Store and as I walked through the store, I began to talk to myself.

I remember seeing an older man in one of the aisles.  Maybe he was 55 years old.  He had dirty clothes and was walking slowly kind of dragging his feet. 

I said to myself to him “You aren’t going anywhere.  You at the end of your life and you’ve done nothing.  At least I’m in law school.  I’m going to be somebody someday.

(Wow, it hurts just to read what I just wrote.)

I remember doing this several more times with other people and then its as if someone thumped me on the head.

I heard this voice say “What are you doing?”

I knew who it was.  We had talked before.

I answered “What do you mean?”

He said “What are you doing walking around the store, running these people down?  You have to go to a grocery store to find people to look down on in order to make yourself feel better?  You are sad." 

"These are the people that I love, the people that I made, the very people that I died for and you can’t do anything for them, but silently run them down.  You don’t love them.  If you don’t love them, you can’t love me.”

Wow, when God nails you, he really nails you.

I then said, “I know I don’t love them.  In fact I hate most people.”

I then finished with “If you’ll let me see them how You see them, I know I can love them.  Just let me see them how You see them.  Let me see their potential.”

That was the thump on the head that changed my view about people. 

It didn’t happen overnight.  It has been gradual, but He has opened my eyes.

I think He was getting me ready for my kids. 

I know we all see the potential in our own kids, but I always have to be careful to ask myself, “Am I Iooking at their potential through my eyes…or His eyes?”