The Bible Says Love Is a Skill

Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 (NLT) *** *** *** ***   Love is a skill that can be learned. In other words, it’s something you can get good at and that means you get better at love by practicing love.   You may think you’re a good lover, but God wants you to become a great lover, a skilled lover, a master lover. Yet, most people never learn how to love. You can become an expert at relationships. …

Love Is a Choice

… That you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Deuteronomy 30:20 (NIV) *** *** *** ***   Love is a choice and a commitment. You choose to love or you choose not to love.   Today we’ve bought into this myth that love is uncontrollable, that it’s something that just happens to us; it’s not something we control. In fact, even the language we …

We Love Because God Loves Us

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19 (NIV) *** *** *** ***   The reason God wants us to love is because he is love, and he created us to be like him – to love. The only reason we’re able to love is because God loves us: “Love comes from God … because God is love” (1 John 4:7-8 NIV).   We were created in God’s image to do two things on earth: Learn to love God and learn to love other people; life is all about love.   But love all started with God. He …

Dog? God?

When I was 12, my parents bought me a cocker spaniel.  His name was Bucky. I had begged for months to get a dog and finally they broke under the intense pressure of an unrelenting 12 year old boy.  After the initial fun of the first few weeks of having a dog wore off, my mom and dad had to constantly remind me to feed Bucky, give him fresh water, give him baths and…pick up piles.  Fun times. My dad finally got tired of having to remind me so he sat me down.  He said “Eric, you’re the closest thing …

convenient obedience ? … no such thing

I wonder how many of you reading this have been married to the same spouse for 60 years ? My parents, Pete and Theda Hurn, celebrated 60 years on September 18th. 60 years … what a testimony for commitment … especially in this day and age. Based on where I have been, it is strange that God has placed me in a pastor’s role where I counsel men and women with marriage issues. Only the Lord could have orchestrated something as ironic as this. Sadly … here is a comment I often hear from Christian men who are considering divorce. …

ice cream theology

Now that my wife and I have lived one year in the city of Chicago and four years in the west suburbs … there is one thing I know for certain. The location of the best ice cream shops. I just listed 13 total. In addition, most of them usually have a “flavor of the week”. I believe it is perfectly OK to promote ice cream with passion. So if changing the “flavor of the week” every week satisfies the customer … especially me … hey … do it. Regarding ice cream … there are no rules. Lately however, I …

How to Deal with Conflict Quickly

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19 (NIV) *** *** *** ***   How do you deal with conflict quickly?   I’ll tell you, but you’re not going to like it. The solution to resolving conflict is confrontation.   That’s right; if you’re going to resolve conflict, you must confront.   You don’t have to confront in anger, though. In fact, you shouldn’t confront in anger. Lovingly go to the person and, speaking the truth in love, deal with the problem immediately.   In …

Resolve Anger Quickly

If you are angry, be sure that it is not out of wounded pride or bad temper. Never go to bed angry – don’t give the devil that sort of foothold. Ephesians 4:26-27 (PH)   *** *** *** *** It’s okay to be angry, but anger becomes wrong when it’s not resolved quickly. The apostle Paul teaches, if you become angry, do not let your anger lead you into sin and do not stay angry all day.   The Phillips translation says, “Never go to bed angry.” That would keep a few of us up all night! If you said, …

Choices Control Your Calendar

We are each responsible for our own conduct. Galatians 6:5 (NLT)   *** *** *** ***   Your choices control your calendar and, as a result, your lifestyle. Your choices are far more powerful than your circumstances. You may not like how complicated your life has become yet, with very few exceptions, no one is forcing you to keep your life complicated.   You have the power to simplify your life. The Bible teaches, “We are each responsible for our own conduct” (Galatians 6:5 NLT). To me, that means God expects us to assume responsibility for our lives and to …

Choosing a Simpler Life

. . . a time to embrace and a time to refrain. Ecclesiastes 3:5 (NIV) *** *** *** ***   You’d think that living in Southern California means I’m surrounded by people who live a laid-back lifestyle. The truth is just the opposite: Most of the people I know are trying to cram more and more into each day.   For instance, a couple of years ago, I was with a group of friends driving down the interstate. At one point, I looked around and realized most of us were engaged in some activity other than talking to each other. …