Pop Quiz

I have a question for every teacher that is reading this. Why do you insist on punishing students with the sadistic ritual otherwise known as pop quizzes? Do you actually enjoy seeing the panic on your student’s faces? Or is it that you love seeing the smug looks of your teacher’s pets who just can’t wait to display their readiness for your impromptu examinations? That scent you smell right now…. Yeah, it’s called bitterness. I hated pop quizzes. Why you ask? Because I had no time to come down with a sudden case of bubonic plague or any other ailment that would help me postpone the inevitable of showing the world how much I didn’t know on a given subject. I was not what you would call a “model” student. I viewed homework not as being mandatory, but as merely a suggestion. I signed up my freshman year of college (which by the way, were three of the happiest years of my life) for a class called “Music Appreciation” because after all, I did appreciate music. Much to my chagrin the music we “appreciated” was more Van Clyburn than Van Halen. Although it’s been a while since I have donned a mortarboard and tassel, and let me stop right here. If you are over the age of 21 and still have your graduation tassel hanging from your rearview mirror, let me clue you in to something. Based upon my findings, I doubt your institution of higher learning wants your car as a rolling billboard. No offense, but if your car is older than you are, it kind of defeats the purpose….I digress. Even though we may be out of school, life still sends us a pop quiz once in awhile. How did you do on your last one? Me? I failed miserably. Let me set the stage for you. It’s 5pm on a Thursday evening. I and my brood are making our way to the airport for a 7pm flight. Our vehicle, and this is why I can bust on you for taking down the tassel, is a 1996 Dodge Grand Caravan with 160,000 miles (all highway miles…don’t you love when people say that.) Smooth sailing until we get to the best possible place to encounter a hiccup in our chariot’s performance, downtown Atlanta. If you haven’t been through Atlanta in a while let me brief you on the driving conditions. Take 3 million people, 2.8 million of them NASCAR fans and the other 200,000 illegal aliens trying to get out of town, and mix in a healthy dose of road rage, and Voila, there is your Atlanta driving experience. “Big White” as we not so affectionately refer to our van started “talking back” right in the middle of the above described scene, hence, my Pop Quiz. After blaming Wendy for not recommending that we take my car, to which she responded calmly that the reason we had to take Big White was to fit not one, but two sets of golf clubs…ouch, I moved onto preaching a hellfire and brimstone sermon on the incompetence of the American auto worker….my wife is from Michigan…strike two. I searched frantically for the hazards all the while trying to merge onto the exit for the airport…oh; I failed to mention that we were topped out at approx. 40 mph because our transmission was shot. Good times for all involved! As we entered the obstacle course they call the airport, the friendly shuttle bus and taxi drivers would not let me exit to the parking lot. Have you ever seen the movie “European Vacation?” Remember when Clark just couldn’t “get left?” As we circled the airport for the fifth time I finally blew my stack. Strike 3, well, actually strikes 3-30, came when I began to reign down blows onto the horn to show my disgust. I started with a right cross and went into a flurry of jabs. What happened next could only be described as legendary. After a fierce “haymaker” the horn got stuck. Yeah, that’s right. With the hazards blinking, engine smoking, transmission stinking, and horn blowing, we finally entered the parking lot. The only thing shaking more than my fist, were my kids. They had just witnessed Dear Old Dad go “postal.” My son Tanner summed it up best by stating: “Mom…Dad sure doesn’t handle pressure very well, does he?” Pop Quizzes once again got the best of me. We need to heed the words of James 1:2 “Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” If you haven’t had a pop quiz in a while, get ready. You may want to dust off your text book!