Thinking About A Tragedy
By now everyone is likely well aware of the events of July 4th in Nashville, TN, when former NFL star Steve McNair and his 20 year old girlfriend, Sahel Kazemi, died in what appears to be a shocking and tragic murder-suicide. Below are some thoughts.
It’s a tragedy …
- … that two lives have ended so senselessly
- … that the ultimate price was paid – and for what?
- … that the circumstances surrounding these deaths are so dark and twisted
- … that a grieving wife is left to pick up the shattered pieces of a lifelong commitment
- … that a broken-hearted woman is now a single mother of 4
- … that 4 young boys are forced to go on without their dad
- … that 4 young boys will carry with them the awful memories of what happened to their dad
- … that some will dismiss McNair’s well-known contributions to society because of his infidelity
- … that some will dismiss McNair’s infidelity because of his contributions to society and because he was a famous athlete
- … that some will focus on McNair’s accomplishments on the football field to the exclusion of his failures as a husband and father
- … that there is such a focus on celebrating and remembering McNair’s life that it sort of feels like people are forgetting that Kazemi also lost her life
- … that our society so idolizes public figures and celebrities – in some cases at least
It’s a good time to remember …
- … that, in the words of a friend, on any given day we are just one bad decision from disaster
- … that we are all unbelievably vulnerable
- … that we have so much to lose
- … that to live or die a fool is no way to live or die
- … that we need people in our lives who love us enough to tell us when we are wrong
- … that we need at least one person who knows about the junk in our trunk
- … that we need at least one person who dares to ask us hard questions
- … that examining, exposing and ordering our private, inner world is of critical importance
- … that our hearts are desperately wicked
- … that we are being delivered from darkness
- … that the real shame is to pretend that there is no darkness within
- … that we can be very good at pretending
- … that God loves us because that’s what He is – despite the darkness, despite our pretending
- … that His grace is enough and it is boundless
- … that when we are weak then we are strong – in Christ
I suspect that you are right about some glossing over this tragedy because of who he was. I also think that it’s easy for us as Christians to judge and condemn because most of us feel certain we would never make those choices. We tend to forget that God doesn’t rank sin, and that whatever sins we have in our life are just as abhorrent and detrimental as Mr. McNair’s infidelity was.
I am so sorry for both of their families and what they now have to endure. And to be perfectly honest, I am angry. Angry that marriage is no longer sacred, angry that fame justifies sin, angry for another betrayed family. When do we as Christians take a stand and say enough is enough?
I never reply on posts but felt I needed to reply here. I have to question Karen’s statement “taking a stand and say enough is enough” I too am sickened at how marriage is treated but I also truly believe that God gave us free will, God stands back and lets us make our choices, knowing at times that we will fall, knowing we must learn from our mistakes and hoping we will see the error in our ways. If as Christians we truly believe this then isn’t it our job not to judge and condemn others and leave that to God. Won’t we all stand, on our own, in front of God on our judgement day and won’t we be accountable to Him for all our choices? I think it is important to educate others but ultimately we all have free will and the God given right to use it. Again, I personally do not agree with the choices made by these people but they will answer to someone greater than all of us.
McNair made choices that did not include the family he vowed to love, cherish and keep in his protective care.
It is a tragic and sad situation, but he does not deserve the 2 day tribute at the stadium, putting his wife and 4 sons through this public spectacle.
when I said “enough is enough”, I meant that we as husbands and wives have an obligation to avoid situations that place us in the direct path of temptation. I think if we know that we have a weakness in a particular area, then we need to avoid it. (sort of like the alcoholic not visiting a bar.) I did not mean for my comment to appear that I was endorsing a judgmental attitude from the Christian body of believers. Hopefully that will clear up any confusion.
Its an unbelievable sad situation. My heart goes out to Mechelle who will have to go on and raise their two sons (they didn’t have 4 he had 2 from previous relationships prior to marrying Mechelle). The sadest part of this whole thing is it could have been prevented. I my heart grieves that Ms. Kazemi lost hers but sadly she choose the path she took. She even mentioned “ending it all” to her friends yet they didn’t take her seriously.
I think from a married woman’s perspective McNairs wife has to take ownership for her part. A marriage isn’t just one person it’s two working together. Accountability should be a part of any marriage. Everyone can say he made the choice to have an affair or two, but where was his wife in this..?
This is an aweful ending to two peoples lives, and the events that brought it about are not pretty either, but everyone will “face the music” when they stand before God.
And the most important thing to do is to pray – for their souls and pray for the family’s grieving.
I take away from this that our sins will find us out. As a dad I need to go beyond “modeling” a Christian life. I need to live it. Kids are starter then we think. We can’t fool them. And if a particular sin pattern is acceptable for us. They’ll think its acceptable for them.
The comments on this issue are certainly interesting and challenging as well.
However … GOD still has HIS good purpose in mind for every event … whether it be tragedy or joy.
Christ-following people must use this opportunity to be a vessel for the Holy Spirit and to proclaim the gospel of forgivness found in Jesus. Then it will truly be a marvelous thing to behold as we watch GOD work through this mess to bring others to a saving knowledge of HIS SON.
May the LORD heal these two families and draw them to HIM and HIS Kingdom.
Maybe there are salient points here, but I cannot stop laughing hysterically over the point that states: that we need at least one person who knows about the junk in our trunk.
The author needs to google “junk in the trunk” to learn the only recognized definition of this phrase.
I am going to suggest that perhaps the writer revise to read “skeletons in our closet.”
Thank you for that laugh!! Everyone have a great evening.